For supporters
Someone shared their counter with you
That means they trust you. You don't need to do much. Here's what you'll see, and a few things that tend to help.
What you'll see
One page with a number: the days they've gone without alcohol. Depending on what they chose, it may also show the date they started and their longest stretch, and a line they wrote for you. That's all. There's no feed, nothing to log in to, and no way for you to check up on them.
You can leave a short kind word: a tap for “I'm proud of you,” or a few words of your own. It reaches them privately. You can send up to three a day.
What tends to help
- Notice the good days out loud. “Saw you hit a month. That's big.” Short and warm beats long and careful.
- Don't ask how it's going every time you meet. Let them bring it up.
- Offer something concrete. A coffee, a walk, a lift, a film, rather than “let me know if you need anything.”
- Keep alcohol out of the plan when you can. Choose places and gifts that don't center it, without making a point of it.
- If it goes wrong, be on their side. Shame makes it harder to try again; it doesn't make it less likely.
What not to do
- Don't watch the number or quiz them about it.
- Don't treat a restart as a verdict on them, or on you.
- Don't try to be their doctor. If you're worried about their safety, or they're in withdrawal, urge them to see a doctor. Heavy, regular drinkers can need medical help to stop safely.
If you're worried about their safety
If someone is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. In the US, 988 takes calls and texts about suicide and mental-health crisis. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans is on 116 123.
This page is general guidance, not medical advice. Crisis lines and more help.
Questions
Do I need to make an account?
No. The link they sent is all you need. It opens one page with their day count. Bookmark it if you like.
What can I see?
Their day count, and whatever else they chose to show you, like the date they started. You can't see notes, moods or restarts, and you can't see who else is in their circle.
What if the counter goes back to zero?
You won't get an alert, and the page won't announce it. They may tell you themselves, or not. If they do, the kindest thing is usually to say you're glad they told you.
Can I leave the circle?
Yes. Just stop opening the page. If you want the link removed, ask them to remove you; they can do it in a few taps, and the page stops working at once.
Where do I get help for myself?
Supporting someone can be heavy. Al-Anon (al-anon.org) runs free groups for family and friends of people who drink, and the helplines on our help page are open to you too.